alamodeus

... but, if Jagger ever decides to craft a topiary, he better start clipping some Hobby Lobby coupons so he can buy a truckload of the fluffy green stuff! Trust me, I’ve been there.

This little number had curves in all the right places.

I was drawn to the sweet, elfin flourish of this little topiary seen in a local consignment shop. It fit my new dining room design scheme to a tee, and I knew our flirtation was getting serious when I started thinking about bringing her home. My first thought was that I need more than this single arrangement – I really had to have two. But, it was her hefty price tag that sent me reeling. It was a shocking $8 million. Okay, maybe that’s a bit of a stretch, but it might as well have been $8 mil. There was no way I was going to shed that much dough for sticks and fungus. So, I took her picture as a farewell gesture, and I was outta there to gather moss.

While shopping, I began to rationalize that my inspiration piece looked like a character from Dr. Seuss, with those bulbous mounds of moss and the crazy, dangling bird’s nest. Of course, that’s exactly what made her so endearing. With hot glue sticks, foam cones, tree bark and bags of moss, I cleared the check-out at the craft store – spending less than $40 in supplies to make both topiaries. Let’s just say that this price tag was less than a third of the cost of the tempting single topiary in the shop.

But, I could not, could not find a vase. I checked here and there, just in case. I looked at pots of metal and clay, I looked for hours to my dismay. Oops, sorry. I digress.

Anyway, I finally settled for a couple of creamy, French-inspired planters and excitedly began the creative process. Did I say “creative?” I meant to say “torturous process.” Oh, the ideas came easily enough, but it was the damn hot glue construction that drove me to tears. Did you know that finger pads can actually sizzle?

I’m now stuck with two topiaries that bring back the most traumatic memories and look nothing like my inspiration piece. My consolation – I’m sure that consignment store tease is long gone, and I saved enough money for a year’s worth of ointment and bandages.

My zany topiaries add a little zing to dining, bird's nest included. Gotta love 'em.

Did I mention that despite all the injuries, I'm really happy with the results? I am!